This Waterloo Catholic Parents of Young Children GroupMe is intended to help parents, who have baptized children age 0-7, to connect with each other through faithful parenting formation opportunities and playdates.  This GroupMe will also nurture faithful parenting through prayer suggestions and marriage enrichment geared specifically to parents with young children.

The target audience of this group is parents who have recently baptized children ages 0-7.  Members are welcome to remain in the group if they have older children.  However, it is up to each member to leave the group if it no longer is helpful to them.  In addition, members can expect to be deleted from the group if they are not in compliance with the following guidelines.  

POSTS:

Appropriate posts fall into the categories:

* Faithful Parenting Formation Opportunities

* Prayer Suggestions

* Marriage Enrichment 

All posts must be directly related to marriage and parenting and targeted to parents with young children ages 0-7.  Content must be in conformity with the teachings of the Catholic Church.  

PLAYDATES:

A “playdate” is when two or more families get together so that the children can spend time playing together and the adults can converse and build community.  Playdates revolve around activities appropriate for children age 0-7.

All communication between families should be between the adults of the families. Adults should contact adults directly to set up a “play date.” In accordance with safe environment standards set forth by the Archdiocese of Dubuque, it is not permissible for an adult of one family to directly contact the child of another family. All contact needs to remain between the adults of each family.

Additionally, this is not a babysitting network. There must be a minimum of one parent/adult from each family present at all times during playdates, but both parents of each family are encouraged to be present at the playdates whenever possible.

Playdates are encouraged to take place in public areas intended for children’s play. This means that the equipment used for play has passed safety checks and meets standard safety guidelines. Public parks in the local area typically meet these requirements. If families intend to meet at their own homes for a playdate, they should ensure that the environment is safe and suitable for children at play. Families should also recognize that any liability associated with a playdate hosted at their own home rests on them. If they are concerned about this, then they should simply meet in public parks in the area. 

By participating in group playdates, parents assume responsibility and liability for their child(ren)’s experience.  Parents are expected to exhibit faithful parenting behaviors to their children to maintain a positive experience for all involved.  If a parenting style is concerning, please report this to a moderator of the group.  

Families should be aware that even though GroupMe is being utilized to help our families get together, please do not take pictures of someone else’s children and post them on any online or social media outlet without the express written consent of the child’s parent or legal guardian. Safety of identity and of personal information should be at the forefront of everyone’s mind when it comes to taking pictures.  

The only location where pictures may be posted is in this private Group and only when verbal consent is given by all parties. Pictures from this GroupMe may not be copied and posted in any other location by any members of the group without the express written consent of all of the individuals in the photo. 

This group is not to be used for any personal advertising or promotions. All posts should be of an open-invitation nature, inviting other families to join your family for a playdate. The following is an example – “Hi, everyone. Our family is planning to go to Byrnes Park from 3 PM until 5 PM today. Would any of you be interested in meeting up with us? If we get a rough headcount we can even bring some hot dogs to cook.”

If no one is available, please do not take it personally. Additionally, when responding to or making posts, please avoid using statements, photographs, video, or audio that reasonably could be viewed as malicious, obscene, threatening, intimidating, that disparages others or that might constitute harassment or bullying. Please also avoid discriminatory remarks, threats of violence, or similar inappropriate or unlawful words or conduct.

Make sure you are always honest and accurate when posting information or news, and if you make a mistake, correct it quickly. Be open about any previous posts you have altered.  Never post any information or rumors that you know to be false.

Anything that could cause scandal to another family should be avoided. Examples include mention of inappropriate use of drugs or alcohol, advocacy of inappropriate music/movies, language or dress, offensive remarks, sexually provocative or flirtatious, unethical and/or the expression of opinions that are contrary to the teachings of the Catholic Church.

BEWARE OF SEXUAL PREDATORS

We must always be diligent in protecting our children from sexual predators. It is important that all members of the group remain watchful of grooming behaviors exhibited by sexual predators.

Grooming is the process during which a child sexual offender draws a child in by gaining his or her trust in order to sexually abuse the child and maintain secrecy. The offender may also groom the parents by persuading them of his or her trustworthiness with children. The process of grooming may last months or even years to break through a child’s defenses and increase the child’s acceptance of physical contact. The stages of grooming may include:

• Targeting the victim. Child sexual offenders test for vulnerability and look for emotional neediness, isolation, and low self-confidence, as well as little parental attention.

• Gaining the child’s trust. Offenders watch and get to know their victims and their needs, as well as how to fulfill them. This is also why we do not allow adults of one family to directly contact the children of another family. Be mindful that a predator may introduce secrecy to build trust with the child and distance the child from his or her parents, such as allowing the child to do something the parents would not approve of.

• Filling a need. Once the predator learns to fill the child’s needs with gifts, affection, or attention, they take on a more important role in the child’s life. In essence, our adults should be spending time talking with the other adults at our playdates. They should not be seeking to spend time with the children alone whether at the playdate or in other circumstances.

• Isolating the child. The offender may offer to babysit the children for free or do other favors in order to find ways to be alone with the child without adult interruptions. Parents may unknowingly encourage this by appreciating this unique relationship.

• Sexualizing the interaction. Grooming begins with nonsexual touching, such as accidental or playful touching to desensitize the child so the child does not resist a more sexualized touch. The offender then exploits the child’s curiosity to advance the sexuality of the interaction.

• Parents should set clear rules for their kids while playing especially if one family has much older children playing alongside of the younger children. At times teenagers can desensitize younger children through inappropriate touching. Parents need to constantly be diligent and reinforce appropriate behavior while children are at play.

• Maintaining control. If a predator does start to gain access to a child, the predator may use threats and guilt to enforce secrecy and force the child’s continued participation and silence: “If you tell your mother what happened, she’ll hate you” or “If you tell anyone, I’ll hurt someone in the family.” The abuser may also blame the child for allowing it to happen or normalize it by saying that it is “okay”.

REPORTING ABUSE 

If you observed any physical abuse or sexual abuse take place, it should be immediately reported to the police. The moderator of this group and the pastor of your parish should also be notified to ensure that families are informed and proper disciplinary action is taken. The safety of our children and parishioners is our top priority.

Suspicion of inappropriate behavior, such as “grooming” as depicted above or mental injury or verbal abuse, should be reported immediately to the moderator of this Group and to the pastor of your parish so that a careful investigation can be taken and appropriate communications made to protect other families.